The Grand Move: Consolidated updates of our last days in San Jose

The following are status updates posted on Facebook and Instagram regarding our big move to the east coast, after being in the Bay Area for three years. I figured I really should be a better website owner and actually fill mine with content.

November 20, 2014 at 6:00 PM (Thursday)

SHOE CRISIS! J says I can only bring six pairs. What won't I need in Pennsylvania and Florida? L to R, from top row: Doc Martens knee high boots, Dirty Laundry mid calf boots (super worn and comfy), Pumas (can be worn barefoot and in water), New Balance running shoes, Saucony sneakers, New Balance hiking shoes, Dawgs (wannabe Uggs)

A photo posted by Jam Kotenko (@superduperjam) on Nov 11, 2014 at 5:27pm PST

November 22, 2014 at 11:40 PM (Saturday)

• Dinner, courtesy of random pantry contents: ground beef, white and black beans, kernel corn, coconut milk and curry, all mixed together. (Edible)
• Boxes of clothes: Jason - 1, Jam - 5
• Semi-argument over my excessive amount of shoes = 1
• Number of steps: Jam - 5834 (indoor, boxing of shit), Jason - 16,400 (outdoor, carrying boxed shit to pod)

November 23, 2014 at 6:00 PM (Sunday)

Three years in a box. #vsco #VSCOcam

A photo posted by Jam Kotenko (@superduperjam) on Nov 11, 2014 at 10:13pm PST

November 25, 2014 at 4:28 PM (Tuesday)

Attention, America! You have one more Asian driver to make fun of. ✊

A photo posted by Jam Kotenko (@superduperjam) on Nov 11, 2014 at 2:19pm PST

November 26, 2014 at 10:07 AM (Wednesday)

The Grand Move, An Update: Today, we said goodbye to our junker, Jenny (to be said in your best Forrest Gump voice).

A photo posted by Jam Kotenko (@superduperjam) on Nov 11, 2014 at 9:06am PST

November 27, 2014 at 8:28 PM (Thursday)

Instant Thanksgiving for two, Safeway style. #thanksgiving #holiday

A photo posted by Jam Kotenko (@superduperjam) on Nov 11, 2014 at 7:25pm PST

November 28, 2014 at 5:48 PM (Friday)

• Time to completely empty the apartment, donate to Goodwill, and load the Jeep: 8.5 hours
• Status: Sardine Can on Wheels (see pic)
• Grumpiness level: fluctuating between 50-95%, but both on the fast decline since we're fuckin' done!
• Hunger level: 100% for both
• Time it took to wave goodbye to apartment: 5 seconds

Sayonara, San Jose! It's been real.

So...this is 30.

Otherwise known (at least, to me) as the beginning of my No Excuses Decade, the time in my life when absolutely everything of consequence happens. Get a job that I love, one that will hopefully keep me writing long-term. Finally re-take that written exam I failed the first time so I can get my learner's permit and start driving again. Apply for U.S. citizenship (next year). Visit Europe. Run a marathon. Buy a home. Pop out some babies. (More goals to follow, I’m sure.)

I’m getting ahead of myself though—it’s only Day 1. I really shouldn’t overload my brain with all these unnecessary stress triggers, especially on my friggin’ birthday.

So how is it going, you ask? Let me tell you.

The day before the ‘Big 3-0’

Realization #1: 30 year-old me is not as excited about celebrating my birthday as, say, 25 year-old me. 

Jam, age 30

A few days ago, I came up with a Top 5 list of things I kind of wanted to do to give my 20s a proper send-off:

•    Skydive
•    Surf
•    Hot air balloon ride
•    Watch that Michael Jackson Cirque du Soleil show
•    Ride a big-ass rollercoaster

Thing is, in order for these 5 things to even happen, I needed to plan them out weeks in advance. By the time I decided that hey, maybe I should do something special for the Big 3-0, it was already too late to set things in motion.

Confession #1: A small part of me was hoping J would do all the planning/surprising for my birthday, but of course I was forgetting that it can be hard for him sometimes, being married to a Filipina woman who occasionally turned the passive-aggressive behavior way up and had unrealistic expectations of epic mind-reading abilities.

Since my birthday fell on a Monday when normal people like J had work, we decided to celebrate the day before (which is technically the actual day of my birth anyway, if we’re taking time zone technicalities into serious consideration). Like any decent human being, J asked me what I wanted to do so we could make it happen, and I seriously had no clue.

Confession #2: That was a lie. What I really wanted to do was eat. And that, we did. After doing our P90X exercises for the day*, we got on the road and proceeded to partake in the following, which are some of my favorite food items:

• Bon Chon fried chicken – because it’s friggin’ delicious and it’s been a while since we’ve both eaten there.

• Mamon from Red Ribbon – I got butter, J got mocha. He insisted that I never made him eat mamon before, so naturally he assumed it was a disgusting dessert (I have never met a dessert I did not like, thank goodness). He ended up liking it (but he downplayed it, of course).
  

• Taro milk tea from Quickly – I got my usual order (Large, with double servings of large tapioca and one serving of lychee jelly), but from a different branch. Note to self: Don’t get Quickly if it’s not from the downtown San Jose branch…unless you don’t mind your order being taken by an Asian woman so perennially pissed off, she might as well be sucking on a lemon.

The culminating activity was supposed to be dinner at Boiling Crab – which is my favorite restaurant in the vicinity of South San Jose – but we decided to take a quick nap after driving around and trying to fill up the day with out-of-our-routine activities (like go to the mall and be super stressed and terribly disappointed) and by the time we got to the restaurant at 8pm, there was a 2-hour-and-a-half wait list. The restaurant closed at 10pm, so obviously, having a 50-50 chance to even get offered a table and having to rush through dinner wasn't going to be worth it. 

I was terribly disappointed…I WANTED CRAB GODDAMMIT! J knew it, too. So he said we’d make it my birthday week (I married the best-est guy, I swear) and do Boiling Crab sometime this week. We ended up getting Vietnamese pho takeout instead before heading back home to watch The Princess Bride (a birthday tradition).

Not too shabby. The secret to more pho: TAKE OUT

In short, the day ended on a high note!

The actual ‘Big 3-0’

It was almost exactly like every other Monday I’ve experienced in the past. I woke up all Popeye-like, with one eye open first before committing to opening the other, greeted by a strong urge to pee and an even stronger urge to go back to sleep. I checked my phone, cleared all notifications, replied to messages people left me on various platforms, and fired up my sleeping laptop in order to fully connect to the people on the interwebs. I got some iced coffee running through my veins to wake my inner self up.

The only difference is the barrage of birthday greetings on my Facebook Timeline – from the speedy and generic hbd’s-no-punctuation-marks-or-emoticons courtesy of my acquaintances to well-thought-out wishes from my besties, complete with a photo highlighting my goofy face – and the push I felt in my gut that compelled me to add a little bit of oomph to my routine today, because it IS my birthday, after all.

For a non-driving, funemployed, homebody such as myself, “a little bit of oomph” meant leaving the house by foot. After I finished my re-watch of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, I got dressed, walked to the light rail, and made my way to the mall closest to me (two train stops and an additional 15-minute walk away). When I got to the mall, the big question hit me:

Now what?

I guess I could celebrate by buying myself something nice. Nope. Every store I went into that had something I liked made me internally comment, “Pshh…I could totally buy this (or something like it, but better) cheaper online!”

Confession #3: I sort of have an online shopping problem. Hi, my name is Jam and I am a bargain addict. Even though I already have everything I want and need, I have a hard time resisting a good online sale.

Now what?

Maybe watch a movie by myself? Most of the movies on the mall’s lineup were ones that I wanted to see with J, so I skipped those. The ones left were Tammy and The Fault In Our Stars: one had a low Rotten Tomatoes rating and featured Melissa McCarthy in a hot mess (not in the mood for that), one was a cancer romance (definitely not in the mood for that).

Now what?

After five more minutes of walking around, I was done giving the mall a chance – am I turning into a grumpy hermit? – I bought a bag of Twizzlers Bites and went home.

They are pretty amazing, to be honest.

And now, here we are. The day isn’t over yet and I’m sure it can only get better at this point, so let me end my first entry of what hopefully becomes a regular blogging habit with a list.

The ‘Big 3-0’ list of realizations

• See #1 above.
• I love naps, and it’s totally OK. That doesn't make me a useless bum. That makes me human.
• A messy bun is a perfectly acceptable hairstyle for a 30 year-old woman. It’s not a big deal.
• These two quotes (thanks, Ate Rizzo!):

• With the previous quotes in mind, I have the best husband/partner/best friend in the universe right beside me, so I don’t really need a birthday gift. Well, it’s not really a realization. It’s more like an actual fact.

This is 30. What’s next is just a series of awesomeness.

Now, if only the water weren't so goddamn cold...

UPDATE:

J just came home, armed with these:

Real men know their girl's favorite flowers.

♥

For the record, I would just like to re-iterate....just how much I love you, J-Man. <3

*Yes, we have begun yet another attempt at finishing a fitness program. More on that in another blog post, soon.

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The vagabond traveler is back: The trip, plus some realizations

I've been gone for a while, so here's a quick recap of what I've been up to.  I'm also going to let y'all know what I am up to, now that I am back. 

Where I've Been

Orlando

What really set this 19-day vacation into motion for The Traveling Kotenkos was the marriage between Daniel and Kari.

This is Kari and Daniel.  They both went to the same college as J.

This is their adorable little baby Ana.  She is one of the cutest babies ever!

J & J.  Wow, we clean up good!

So anyway, we spent a couple of days in Orlando after the wedding and went to Universal Studios.  I probably would have had a more awesome time at Disneyland, but Disneyland didn't have The Wizarding World of Harry Potter...that made our choice way easier.  IT WAS AWESOME.  I would have asked J to go through the roller coaster again in TWWOHP, but he wasn't feeling that great (we had a lot to drink at the wedding) and I didn't want to do it by myself.  Ahhh, so THAT'S why Kari had a shitload of Tums in her wedding giveaways for us!  Should've had the common sense to bring it with us to the theme park.

Hogwarts.  It was pretty damn spectacular.

Washington DC

We flew to DC and stayed with Jason's brother for 2 nights.  J ensured that a day would be enough to see the sights in DC.  It would have been true, if it didn't suddenly rain later on in the day.  We did get to see the monuments and I did get to see a few of the museums at the national mall, but we weren't able to go into the Capitol (it was a Sunday) and there was no time to check out the White House.

J&J in front of the DC Capitol

We did get to meet up with my cousin Johnny, though, whom I have not seen in 3-4 years!  He's one of my most favorite relatives and it was really heartwarming to see him.  He almost didn't come, but I expertly guilted him into showing up by saying that it's been years and that all I wanted from him was a hug. :)  He brought his girlfriend with him.

Pennsylvania

My mother-in-law picked us up from Jason's brother's place so we can spend some time with her and my father-in-law in the house J grew up in.  It was my second time in their house and in their town.  I always enjoy visiting because it reminds me of the village I grew up in.  It was small enough for people to know people (if not personally, at least by face), it was peaceful, it wasn't congested or polluted.  In short, the ideal place to raise a family.  I know people from small towns have big dreams of moving to the city, and maybe when J was younger, he too wanted to see the world, but there's definitely a charm to the small town life that appeals to me greatly.  Maybe after J and I have exhausted our vagabond traveling ways and are looking to rest for a while, we'd reconsider our options.

We also took a trip up to Edinboro, J's college town.  On the way there I had a slight mishap with the convenience store door, rendering two of my toes on the right foot torn apart and bloody, which sort of limited our activities from then on, but it was okay because 1) We got to spend 2 nights in a quaint little cottage, and 2) I fished for the first time and caught one!  J's dad threw mine back into the lake though since it was too small, but now I sort of get the appeal of fishing: it's a quiet activity, you get to relax, and you get a sense of pride when you catch a lot of fish.  It also doesn't hurt that you have a yummy meal ahead of you.  It was good...the only thing missing was a saucer of soy sauce and calamansi. :P

J's college house.  Adorable, ain't it?

Chicago

We drove all day from Edinboro to downtown Chicago without a plan or a hotel reservation, which was a mistake, we later on learned.  We actually got in early thanks to J's steady driving, but we ended up having to look for a place to stay for 3 hours until we settled on an expensive Country Inn & Suites hotel suite (we actually had hotel points that would've enabled us to stay for free, but J decided to save those for a more worthy cause in the future).  Traveler tip: Finding a hotel in Chicago is tough shit...better visit with a reservation prior to arrival.

Anyway, like I said, we absolutely had no plans for our stay in the city, so we did the touristy thing first and visited The Bean, which was pretty cool for about a minute--there were just too many people taking photos and whatnot!

That's me and J in the middle, with someone random behind us.

We also walked around...a lot.  I would've wanted to go to the art museum because they were featuring works of Roy Lichtenstein (one of my favorites!), but being the frugal folks that we are, we decided on going to a free concert instead.  Apparently they do this a lot, hold free concerts in Millennium Park, in an area where people can bring their own food and drink and chairs and relax.  We weren't as prepared as some of the people there (a couple had wine in glasses, a table, and fancy takeout from some Italian restaurant), but it was okay....we laid on the grass and drank our beer in cans.  It was great.  The concert?  It was Haydn's The Seasons, and the entire time we had no idea what season was being performed.  We were so confused we decided to leave during intermission.

We also visited the Lincoln Park/Zoo (is this what Linkin Park is named after?), which was awesome, despite not being able to see any bears.  We also had a bunch of good food (ribs = my fave = always good)...didn't get a chance to try deep dish pizza though.  I know, tourist fail.

Our stint in Chicago ended with a night out with some of Jason's college friends.  We drank and barely had time to sleep off our hangover before we had to head to the airport for our next leg.  Traveler tip:if you plan to get shitfaced before a flight...DON'T DO IT.  It does not feel good.

Utah/Idaho

This was the last stop in our very long trip, and I was very excited to see it (Idaho especially) since J refers to it as one of his most favorite places he has lived in.  It was just bad luck that I had a hangover and that we had to go through a lot of bull to rent a car from the Salt Lake City airport (read: modus operandi where they say they don't have your reservation, but they have a more expensive rental for you...nevah mind!), but that didn't stop us from having a good time.  Not even the fact that we had to stay in a Motel 6 for a night..tired people are not choosy people, I've learned.  And it was okay after that anyway...  We saw a little bit more of Utah and checked out the Mormon towns, which are impeccable.  Never mind the fact that they have weird beliefs in magic underwear, they sure know how to keep a neat and orderly lifestyle!  I also found out that Mormons are required to keep a year's supply of food and other amenities in their household for, ya know, in case life as we now know it collapses (this idea I actually support, seems like a good idea to be prepared for an apocalypse).  And yes, I met up with my MrazWomen friend Whitney. :)

We also ended up staying at J's former workmate's parents' mansion house, where there were 4 dogs and 9 horses free to roam about.  It was scary at first, but it didn't take me long to love it and wish I had a horse of my own (or wish that I knew how to ride one on my own, without assistance).

Our last few days were spent with Jason's old boss/mentor and his wife, and we also had drinks with some of his other former workmates from back when he was an intern at the national laboratory.  One of his workmates, Randy, had a garden full of tomatoes, peppers, and other herbs, and visiting them made me want to have my own garden of eatables so badly.  It further solidified my resolve that one day, small town life will be ours, J's and mine.  If not here, then maybe the Philippines.

And have this view, if not right outside my window (wishful thinking), then maybe an hour's drive away...

What I've Realized: A Consolidation

To make this part easier, I'll do a list:

* Although doing things spontaneously and "winging it" are two of my favorite past times, I shouldn't do those things when my own wedding is concerned (which will be in January 2013, in Miami...more on this real soon).  I definitely want a small wedding like Daniel and Kari's.  Instead of my old plan of planning things out 1-2 months before The Day, I'm going to try and get started as soon as possible.

* I know jackshit about the US, about its history, and its geography.  As an aspiring US citizen, I really need to get crackin' and find out more.  I've asked J to find me the best and most comprehensive American History book he can find that's not so hard to read.  I'm also making it a point to look at the US map that's on our apartment wall right now so I can get a better sense of what state is in what area.

* Like I've said previously...I think I am in love with the small town life.  I am unexpectedly enjoying being a housewife as opposed to my old dream of being a full fledged career woman, and the more I think about it, the more I think it's okay.  Maybe the modern woman is regressing to the old days when women ruled the household since female empowerment has already been established and we've gotten a taste of gender equality.  Maybe I've just been unemployed (in the corporate setting) for far too long that I've grown accustomed to my laid back routine.  Whatever the reason, I think that down the line, I'd rather enjoy my life in simple ways rather than work myself to the ground and enjoy the fruits of my labor a little too late.  The small town life is so awesome...waking up with the sunlight streaming into your room because there's no smog blocking it, hearing animal sounds instead of traffic noise, eating vegetables right out of your garden, having a barn full of animals.  IT ALL SOUNDS AWESOME.  And really, as long as I have Internet, I can pretty much occupy myself with other things if I really need the distraction.  I can even get a job and work from home if it's necessary.  Which leads me to the next one...

* Working only when necessary...THAT IS THE ULTIMATE GOAL.

* We're too old to get too shitfaced....AND THAT'S OKAY.

So far, that's all I have.  I've uploaded photos of our trip on my Facebook account, so if you're interested, just check there.

The J&J Story, The Wedding: Our wedding vows

Marriage is a very important step in a couple’s relationship, it signifies a promise that is made in the hearts of two people who truly love and respect each other. It is a pledge to be the best of friends and the most caring of partners. 

Happiness in a marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created and nurtured. In the art of marriage the little things are the big things.

It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you".
It is speaking words of appreciation and showing gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience and understanding.
It is having the ability to forgive and forget.

It is not marrying the right partner; it is being the right partner.

The J&J Story, The Engagement: How it happened through a small bottle of Absinthe

We went over to our friends Daniel and Kari's house to celebrate a low-key New Year's Eve with them.  They served veggies and meat and cheese on a hot plate then chocolate fondue for dessert.  We spent our night playing a card game called Phase10 and even watched a live telecast of the ball drop at Times Square when the clock stuck 12.  We were drinking and having a fun time when we saw a collection of untouched absinthe bottles, which is a type of liquor that's known to be strong.  Dan dared Jason to drink the whole mini-bottle, and of course, Jason did.  Halfway through he stopped and looked like he was going to be sick.  He didn't throw up, but I knew he was done for the night.  We all took a small swig and DIED.  Apparently, absinthe needs to be diluted with water before drinking, and Jason drank it pure.  He said it felt like his esophagus was on fire.

​The dare that went wrong.

So Dan pointed us to a room we can crash in and helped Jason to bed while I helped Kari clean up.  When I got to the room Dan told me I didn't have to go to bed too if I still wanted to stay up and talk, but Jason gave me his puppy dog look so I told them I'd look after Jason and said good night.

Jason told me to get in bed and held out his arms, so I got in, turned the lights off and got into my usual fetal position, with Jason hugging me from behind.  I remembered that during Christmas, when his mom asked me what we planned to do when my visa expires, he said "she can extend" so confidently, and I knew for a fact that I couldn't extend because 6 months is the max for my visa, so I kept thinking he knew something I didn't, that he had a plan.  I knew it could be marriage, but it could also have been something at his job...maybe he was able to get me one, too.  So Christmas night, I asked him again (for the nth time) what his plans were, and he said his usual reply, "I've got it under control, trust me" with that exasperating grin of his.  So I said, "Will you at least tell me when New Year comes? I AM DYING HERE."  After a long pause, he said yes and that was the end of it.

So back to bed, fetal position, Jason hugging me from behind.  We were talking in whispers.

Jam: You owe me. What were you talking about last Christmas?

Jason: What do you mean?

Jam: What you told your mom about me extending?

(silence)

Jason: Do you want to get married?

(silence)

Jam: Huh?

Jason: Do you want to get married?

Jam: Do you?!

Jason: I do.

Jam: Are you sure???

Jason: I am. I've been sure for a long time. 

(silence)

(tears)

Jam: Wow.  

Jason: so...will you marry me?

Jam: Hell yeah!  Yes!  I've been sure for a long time, too!

Then Jason started explaining why he can't give me an expensive ring yet because he had to put money away for paying my adjustment of status process, but I just stopped him and hugged him tight and just told him I loved him.  He said he was happy and I said I was, too.  Then he kinda drifted off to sleep.  Meanwhile, I was eyes wide open, DYING TO GO ONLINE and tell someone, but the signal in the room was weak.  I couldn't fall asleep.  I was too happy and excited and I don't know...relieved that we wouldn't have to be apart for so long.

The next day, it was like nothing happened when we woke up.  We agreed not to tell anyone until we told our families, and Dan and Kari were actually also in the middle of planning an August wedding, so we didn't want to steal their thunder while we were guests in their house.

We left, got into the car, I turned the radio on and started singing.  It was like any normal day.  In the middle of some highway I just blurted out OMG ARE WE REALLY GETTING MARRIED?! :P The other day when I woke up, I looked at him and yelped, OMG ARE YOU MY FIANCE?!  Haha, it's funny.  It doesn't seem real to me yet that everyday feels like an OMG kind of day, and it will be that way until it actually happens, I think. :)

The J&J Story, The Beginning: How jamglam met jfk32 and stayed together despite being an ocean apart

jamglam was a Filipina in Manila looking for a worthy pen-pal to exchange email correspondences with.  An experienced participant of long-term, long-distance relationships, she didn't let proximity get in the way of true love, wherever that is.  She was also tired of dating Filipino guys, who don't seem to "get her".  She went on the dating website OKCupid to meet a man from a different place, to learn a different culture, to have a friend in another country she can visit in case her dreams of traveling the world come to fruition.  Also, she was new to online dating and was terrified of potential creepers, so she focused on people outside of the Philippines instead, just to be safe.

jfk32 was an American in New Jersey who only came there to claim a free boat he found on Craigslist.  He really didn't know anyone in the area, and since he went there with a work-from-home job in the middle of winter, he had very limited opportunities to meet anyone new.  He's had a few girlfriends in the past and has tried casual dating for a while, but none of them have gone the distance or have been successful in keeping him interested in the long run.  He went on OKCupid with the hopes of finding gals to hang out with, armed with a firm resolve not to take anyone seriously just yet. Hey, a man's got to have high standards, ya know.

For some reason, jfk32 landed on jamglam's profile, and she happened to be online to catch that view as it happened.  Right away, she checked out his profile, liked what she read, and sent this message:

Hey there!
A discussion about life, the universe, and everything sounds awesome.
I was checking out your profile and I think you're an interesting guy. 
Lemme know if you want to get a correspondence going—easier to ramble on about life and anything like it if you have the option to compose it before sending :) Chatting is fine, too...I'm not here on OKCupid that often, but if you reply it'll get to me and I can give you my email address or skype/YM handle if you'd like.
Hope to hear from you soon!
Jam

His response:

If you want to talk, you should tell me about one dream you have for yourself. I don't even care if you make it up, or you haven't taken one step to get to it. I'm just interested in hearing what people have to say :-).
My dream is to sail around the world, stopping at as many countries as I possibly can, and staying in them as long as I can. I don't care if it takes me 10 years to get around the globe. I want to crack open coconuts with rocks and drink the sweet water inside, I want to jump off high cliffs into deep pools of crystalline water, I want to hike across deserts where nomadic herders still roam, visit cities and villages and no-man's-lands, meet people who challenge my American view of the world, and just get lost in life. It's crazy, it's over the top, but I think about it every day.
Anyway, get back to me if you want to talk!

In a span of a month, they went through all stages in the Getting To Know You phase of any online relationship.  Epic emails of a thousand words each turned into daily text chats on Skype.  Then voicemail mp3s sent by email.  Then finally, video calls.

Fact: If you meet someone you can talk to every day and every night and still find the energy to email five times a day and not get sick of each other, then that's probably a great sign. 

I think they both realized that early on.  He first told her how he felt by sending a Youtube link to "I Think I Love You" by David Cassidy.  She eagerly answered him with "If I Fell" by The Beatles.  A month and a half later, he arrived in the Philippines (after traveling 17,000 miles) to come be with his girlfriend for two weeks.  That was enough time to make him realize that she's the one, the one to make him go back to the States, sell all his possessions, quit his job, and come back to be with her. 

After a full year of adventures visiting new places in the Philippines and Asia, she returned the favor and said yes to coming to the US with him to continue the dream.

Discovering the secret behind Sonya's Garden

The garden that started it all

In the beginning, it was never meant to be a business. Back in the 1980s, all it was was an hectare of land full of possibilities. Armed with a great eye for detail, a well-developed artistic sense and a love for nature and gardening, she built herself a house with a huge garden. “Para lang kaming naglalaro noon [We were just playing then],” recalls Neneth Pendon, Country Bed and Breakfast Supervisor and the only employee today that was around during Sonya's Garden's inception. Sonya would invite close friends over for lunch and serve them delectable dishes using ingredients fresh from her garden. They were so enamored by her cozy home, her beautiful garden and her good cooking that they thought it only seemed right for her to start charging them a fee for the food. One greenhouse later, Sonya's Garden Restaurant was born.

Sonya's Garden Restaurant: a business by friends, for friends

Floored with pebbles and blanketed by nothing but a plastic roof and adorned with simple curtains, Sonya's Garden Restaurant served only one course daily. When asked about her menu, she used to say, “I have no menu. I will tell you what to eat and what's healthy!” Guests would see the garden harvest first-hand and witness Sonya's staff bring it directly into the kitchen and then later on, their plates. Years later, her restaurant still only serves one type of set meal—garden salad fresh from her very own backyard, fresh bread, pasta, and local dessert—and the people who've tasted her cooking have no complaints.

To round up her tried and tested menu, she also recently added braised chicken with potatoes and roast chicken with herbs, available only through special order. For her overnight guests and for special groups of 20 or more, she designed an all-Filipino menu showcasing some of her local favorites to give everyone a taste of her good, home-cooked meals.

A perfect venue for your destination wedding

Captivated by the beauty, the privacy and overall feel of the place, the son of one of Sonya’s friends expressed his desire to propose to his girlfriend in her garden. Despite being in business for a short time and with limited space to offer, Sonya and her staff made it happen, resulting in a very happy yes. Word spread and pretty soon, restaurant reservations started piling up, especially for that year's Valentines Day. To accommodate all the wedding reservations that started coming in, a second greenhouse was built. In December 2010, Sonya's Garden was the chosen destination of over 36 weddings, and reservations for the new year have already begun pouring in. They have an available wedding package catering up to 300 guests, including her famous and unchanging set meal.

Sonya's Country Bed and Breakfast: A refuge for friends

The more Sonya developed and beautified her private world, the more people desperately wanted to stay.  Friends who frequented her home stayed long because of its relaxing ambiance.  It became a silent sanctuary, away from the hustle and bustle of city life. One day, one of her friends playfully suggested she build a new structure for guests to spend the night in, since the number of visitors who had no intention of leaving was rapidly growing. Sonya thought it was a good idea and had a cottage built for her friends to call their second home. Soon, one cottage became two. Today, there are now 17 cottages within Sonya's Country Bed and Breakfast, all named after her favorite herbs. Decorated with a hint of Italian, Balinese and Filipino design, the Country Bed and Breakfast truly captures Sonya's personal taste. One of the most unique features of the rooms is the batalan, an outdoor-style bathroom that has loose pebbles for its flooring.  It is placed indoors, giving the guests a unique feeling of being out in nature while in the privacy of their own rooms.

For bed and breakfast guests, Sonya provides “Art of Doing Nothing” lessons for free. It has almost everything, from basic gardening, compost making, plant propagation, and making natural pesticide to flower arrangement, wreath making, walking, and trekking. Other activities are also available, depending on the schedule and season, like firefly watching (during mating season), cooking lessons using herbs (to be scheduled upon reservation), and yoga lessons, courtesy of Sonya herself.  Given this wide array of things to choose from, you have the option of enjoying the quiet and relaxing atmosphere or turning your stay into an enlightening experience.

The revitalizing comforts of Sonya's Sensuous Spa

To complete their ultimate experience of relaxation at Sonya's, people who would spend the night would bring with them their own massage therapists from the city. Like all the other wonderful ideas of her friends in the past, Sonya took this one and made it happen by adding it to her growing empire. She started training her own massage staff and provided her own spa services to guests.

Sonya's Sensuous Spa offers all kinds of massage, from Swedish, Shiatsu, Tuina (Chinese) and Thai to Sonya's Signature Massage, a combination of all types of massage featuring Sonya's favorite massage strokes. There are various packages named after Sonya's favorite flowers, all including a type of body scrub, full body massage, facial and hair spa. All-Filipino Spa Services are also available, including hilot, the traditional Filipino massage technique. They use a wide variety of oils and essences, all of which are also for sale at the Beyond Scents store next to the spa.

The tale of the Panaderia

Sonya doesn't only take inspiration from her own interests and ideas as well as her friends'—she also makes it a point to help bring out the best in the people she employs. After getting lost a couple of times during their trips, her driver expressed his desire to do something else. “Ano naman ang gagawin mo [What will you do]?” “Magtatanim po [I will plant]!” Sonya was so delighted by this that she agreed.

After further prodding, Sonya found out that her driver had a lot of experience working at a bakery. During a time when the restaurant's kitchen ran out of bread, the ex-driver used the only small oven they had to try and bake some.  The resulting loaves turned out to be so good, the guests asked for more. With only a small oven and almost a hundred people to feed, he would have needed to bake for 24 hours straight! It was then that Sonya decided to get more ovens and put up a Panaderia and left her former chauffeur in charge. He began experimenting in the kitchen. He started making Spanish bread originally meant to be sold to the staff, but the guests loved it so much, they would fight among themselves over it just to be first in line. To this day, the Panaderia's Hispanis Bread is one of their best sellers. Along with it are the super luscious chocolate cake, and Lola Liling's Sans Rival cake.  Lola Liling is Sonya's mother, an accomplished cook herself.

Sonya's Panaderia also offers baked goods for the health-conscious. The oatmeal cookies that are made without egg are perfect for vegetarians, while sugar-free breads are well loved by those afflicted with diabetes.

Sonya shares her passion

Do you like the china used at the restaurant? Fancy the curtains in your room at the bed and breakfast? Does the scent of the massage oil used at the spa relax your nerves? Ask the staff about them, and they will tell you that the wonderful trinkets, artifacts and other beautiful items and products around the compound are treasures Sonya has collected from her many trips out of the country. Most of them are sold at the Country Store.

Aside from sharing her immense love for art and design through the foreign products she sells at the souvenir shop, she also shows her desire to help the community by actively supporting and promoting Filipino entrepreneurs through the local, all-natural products her store carries.

The secret

Sonya's Garden is an enterprise that springs from one great idea after the other. Most of them may have come from her friends, but she always manages to put a little something of herself into each one.  Everything you see in this breathtaking piece of paradise—from the perfectly placed flower boxes in her garden to the expertly managed and beautifully decorated bed and breakfast—is a manifestation of Sonya’s personality.

A well-tended garden full of flowers in bloom. A healthy lifestyle free from illnesses fostered through fresh and nutritious food. A community of service-driven and nature-loving people. Those are the things that make Sonya happy and content, and those are the secrets that make her garden such a joy to visit.

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How to get to Sonya’s Garden:

From South Superhighway exit Santa Rosa and turn right towards Tagaytay. Upon reaching main Aguinaldo highway, turn right toward Nasugbu, Batangas. Go past Tagaytay Rotonda and proceed for 10km. After Splendido Golf course and Sunrise Hill make a right turn on the Buck Estate. Drive for 2km and watch out for Sonya's on the left side. Use the first gate and drive towards the end of the driveway and make a right towards parking lot.

For reservations:

Call/text: +63917.5329097 / +63917.5335140 / +63917.5231080

Email: info@sonyasgarden.com

Website: http://www.sonyasgarden.com

Published in Batulao Magazine, March 2011 issue

Photos by Jason Kotenko